Things that help

After my post on Monday, I was left feeling negative about the situation that occurred. I know the opinions of others shouldn't matter to me, and for the most part, they really don't. All of this is new for me, and I know that through God and my family and friends, we will figure it all out. I appreciate all the prayers that are being said for us. It is comforting to know that there are so many people that genuinely care about our family. 

I've received so many reminders over the last few days that I am a strong mom, and that God made me Brendan's mom for reason. I've read stories of other families experiences with "meltdowns" and it's has all been refreshing. My friend Ashley sent this to me on Monday: 

She sent it just at the right moment. Just the reminder I needed to get through the day. My friend Rosa also sent me a card that just helped to remind me that I am capable of handling all this. 

With that said, I wanted to focus on some of the things we are doing that help to make life a little easier for all of us! 

We use this visual calendar for Brendan so he knows where he is going each day of the week

He loves this thing. He checks it every day and it's been much easier to get him to his different drop offs because he knows where he is already going. He even will change the weather if he walks outside and sees that it is different than what's on his schedule. 

We also use a first-then model for completing homework.

Brendan hates doing homework. Once we made all the choices that he likes, this tool started working great. We struggle a little, but not near as much as before we used this tool. 

We've also started using doterra oils. We have oil that we put directly on him and have also started using a diffuser in the house. 

Since starting these, we've noticed that Brendan just seems to relax a little more. There is a little more focus in him as well. He will even put the oil on himself once in a while.

We also have a vitamin that we have been using since before we found out Brendan is autistic.

We give this to him everyday. It has done wonders for us. When Brendan does not take this vitamin, he is more irritable, high strung and difficult to manage. It really does just take him down a notch. Plus, he is not the best with fruits and veggies. This vitamin really gets him a lot of the nutrients that he needs. 

The last thing that has been very helpful has been Brendan's teacher. We couldn't ask for a better teacher for Brendan. She cares so much about his development. She constantly lets me know how things are going and makes sure to let me know when he is doing great! 

These are things that we definitely need. So often you hear the negative, but the positive is what keeps us going. 

I want to thank you all again for all the prayers and positive encouragement. I really do appreciate it all. We have a long journey ahead of us. There are going to be some bad days. The only way we are going to get through it, is with God. 

Our first public meltdown

Today Brendan had his first meltdown in public. There have been other times where he has been difficult, but this was much different. It was all over a ninja turtle. He screamed, said hurtful things to me, threw himself on the floor, smacked me and carried on the whole way through the store. (If you were at Target around 12:15 today, I apologize) The looks I got were so uncomfortable. You'd think by now, people would understand that's it's not me parenting incorrectly, or Brendan behaving badly. But the looks I got were not looks of sympathy. They we're looks of people that wanted me to control my child. If it were only that easy. It finally stopped when we got to the checkout. I wanted nothing more than to drop whatever I had and just leave. I think it pushed me into an immediate panic attack. And when everything was over, I was just so emotionally drained. I know this will not be the last one, but wow! I just really wish the judgement from others wasn't there. That is the hardest thing to deal with. 

P.S. This is not the toy he was crying about. We had already bought this, and he wanted something else at another store. 

Mommy Meltdown

I do believe that I am on the verge of a mommy meltdown...Life, kids, work, whatever... It's been hard lately. I took this past week off from work to be with the kids on one of their weeks of spring break. For 9 days straight, there was not one moment of the day that I did not have a kid with me. I know, I know. I am a mom. But, that doesn't mean I do not need some "me" time. Throw in the fact that Brendan's schedule was changed completely for two weeks and he and Liam were around each other way too much, and you've got yourself a mom that is at her breaking point.


Brendan's struggles have had a huge impact on me these past two weeks. He has been very hard to talk to, reason with, soothe, calm down, engage, etc. He has been very strong willed and has had an increase in his back talk. Getting him to do anything that he didn't want to was pretty much next to impossible (Usually I can get him to do many things using the first-then model. Not these past weeks!). Today was exceptionally difficult for me. He had a very bad tantrum after I came home from an extremely hard day of work. I felt like I failed and I just didn't know what to do. Time outs don't work with him. Sending him to his room doesn't work. Trying to talk about it doesn't work. One day, I hope we will find what does work, cause this momma is TIRED.


Praying has been my "me" time lately. That's all I can really do right now, other then send text messages to Deron that say, "when you come home, I may not be here." I knew being a mom was going to be hard work and it is. Being a mom of a child with Autism and still not sure how to always handle a situation, is even harder. God is bigger than this situation, and he will get me through it. But for a few moments, I may sneak off to have a little meltdown, say a prayer, and jump back in.

Busy, busy life!

Life has gotten the best of us and we have been going non-stop! It feels like there is just no free time. 

Brendan is doing great in his school. He is having more good days than hard days at school, and he is starting to have more good days at his pre-school as well. We have more appointments with Inland Regional coming up next month, so hopefully we will be able to get him some more services soon! 

Liam has been busy reading! The boys both got library cards a month ago and Liam is loving checking out and reading books. He struggles with spelling in his school work, so we are hoping that all this reading he is doing will help develop his spelling. School work has been busy for Liam too. Homework is starting to take over most of our nights. We cannot wait until summer time! 

We added a new member to our family a few weeks ago. She is super cute and so much fun! The boys have been asking for a dog for a while, but the right opportunity has just not come along, until now. A co-worker of mine had 4 puppies that they were fostering and trying to find homes for. All 4 puppies went to people at my work. I fell in love with our little girl the first time I saw her picture. She has brought a lot of fun and chaos to our family. The boys really love her and you can tell that she loves them so much too! She is growing so much, and even got her first hair cut this past week. 

We've got a lot planned over the next few months! We are so excited to see where God leads us over these few busy months. 

Update on Brendan

I want to say thank you to everyone that has been praying for our family through this new adventure that we are on. Brendan has now been at his new school for 3 weeks, or 6 days. He only goes Monday-Wednesday, but the school as been closed a few days during those weeks. His first two days at school were a little rough, and a lot like how he behaved at his other pre-school. He was testing the teachers to see how much he could get away with. He wasn't interested in doing the activities and cried when he was forced to do something he didn't want to. The next week, he was a totally different kid. He did everything the teachers asked him to and was engaged in the activities. He only needed help to get started, but did the rest of the work on his own. This alone is a HUGE improvement. Previously, he would just wander around the classroom while circle time, or another activity was being done. He had no interest in joining in, and the teachers never made him participate.


There have been some improvements at home too. While they are small improvements, they make a huge difference in our day-to-day life. We are so excited to see how much he grows. I got to speak with his teacher this week and she again told me how great he is doing and how surprised she is that he was able to improve so quickly.


Today when I picked him up from his regular pre-school, the teacher let me know that he was engaged in a circle time activity and made the activity all by himself. She let me know that he has been more involved in group activities than he has been previously. This makes my heart so happy. Previously he could care less to interact with other classmates, let alone color or make crafts. And here, 3 weeks into his special classes, he is making strides in these areas of concern.


We are working on making things more structured at home to help with his behavior improvement. We have already started a visual calendar so he knows where he is going during the week, and this has been very helpful already. He loves taking the little bus, and does get very sad on the days that he does not go. But, we talk about it, and are able to reason with him about the situation much more than we used to be.


God is definitely in this situation and has really shown us how this road that we have taken is the right one for Brendan and our family. All the right people have been put into place to help us get our son the help that he needs to succeed. Please continue to lift our family in prayer.

Liam is 7!!

We are now the proud parents of a seven-year-old. Is that right?! Did he really just turn 7? It's still crazy to think we have a seven-year-old. Liam is growing up so fast. We celebrated his birthday at Knott's Berry Farm this year and had lots of fun.

The boys had so much fun on all the rides. Auntie Brittany and her boyfriend, Shamir, took Liam on some "big boy rides" while Brendan and I rode some milder attractions. Liam even ride Montezumas revenge with us! 

A Bundle of Nerves

The time is here. Brendan is finally starting his services with our school district tomorrow. To say that I'm nervous is an understatement. I feel so so so anxious. I have been nervous for about a week, and today is the worst. We were able to visit the school and teacher today so Brendan could get an idea of where he'll be going. He is going to be taking a bus to and from school, so now he will have a familiar face and place when he gets off the bus.

Most of my nervousness comes from the fact that I am not going to be the one dropping him off or picking him up two of the three days that he is going. It has become such a routine for both of us for me to be the main person doing things, but routines are changing. I know that everything will be fine. Deron and my sister will be making sure Brendan is taken care of when I'm not there. 

Change is inevitable. It needs to happens in order for Brendan and us, to get the help that's needed. God has a plan for us, and I know he will have His hand in all that is happening. A verse that I have really been reminding myself of is Phillipians 4:6-7:

God has really spoken to us through this process. Life has been very hard lately, but there is an explanation and we are on the road to progress. We ask for your continued prayer for our family and specifically Brendan as he faces these new challenges in his life.