Christmas

We hope everyone had a great Christmas! We enjoyed all the family time that we had, as well as remembering what Christmas is really about! 

This year was definitely harder than other years. Deron was working on both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, so there was one less parent in the mix. Also, Brendan's behavior is quickly becoming more difficult to manage. As he is getting older and understanding more, he is acting out more. Going places, like church, restaurants and even other peoples houses, is becoming more difficult. 

We spent Christmas Eve with my family. We went to church, then out to eat, then home for present and happy birthday Jesus cake! Both boys were very excited about all that was going on! 

Liam got a crazy horse head from my sister. He loves it, but it is a little scary! 😳 Brendan really likes the flipeez that he got too! 

That night we went home and the boys opened their present of Christmas Jammie's, a Christmas movie, popcorn and hot chocolate. I tried taking a picture of them by the tree, but this is what I got... 

Brendan was extremely tired that night, as he did not take a nap, but he at least took one more picture for me...

The next day we opened presents while daddy was still at home. The boys had so much fun and both got what they wanted! 

Afterwards we headed back to my parents for brunch with my grandma. 

Later in the afternoon we headed over to my sister-in-laws house for dinner with Deron's family. Deron was able to meet us there and enjoy a Christmas dinner. 

We are so grateful for everything that God has given to us. This was truly a year to remember. Hopefully this next year won't go by so fast!!! 

Unknown Territory

Since confirming that Brendan does have characteristics of Autism, we have been on a hunt for things that will help us help him. We cannot believe how much information there is regarding Autism. It is actually overwhelming at times because there is so much. Instead of trying to figure everything out all at once, we decided to just take things one day at a time and learn from Brendan what works best for him. We have already changed the way that we discuss things with him and are seeing a big improvement in his behavior when he has to do something that he may not want to do.


Over the last few weeks, however, there has been a behavior that has developed that has been difficult to deal with. Since the assessments, where Brendan started hitting me, he know finds it amusing to tell me often that he wants to hit me. He rarely acts on it, but he may tell me about 20-30 times in one day that he is going to hit me. It has been hard to discuss this with him because he thinks that it's funny. He laughs while he is telling me and laughs throughout our correction of him. About  six weeks ago, when we had barely found out that he may be autistic, I had purchased a few books through Liam's book order that I thought may help Brendan with his behaviors. One of them is titled, "Hands Are Not for Hitting" by Mortine Agassi. We read this book the day that Liam brought his books home and we were amazed at how well Brendan has seemed to understand the message that this book discussed. It was very interactive and repeated the message of hands are not for hitting a lot throughout the book. Brendan retained almost everything about the book and still talks about it. When he does mention anything about hitting, we always ask him, "what are hands for?" He always replies with, "not for hitting." He has drastically minimized how much he talks about hitting me and we may go days without him saying it at all.

This resource seemed to be given to us at just the right time. Rather, God put it on my heart to order this book, because he knew that we would need it to help us and Brendan. We have been blessed with many friends as well that are very willing to help wherever they can with information, resources, ideas, etc. God truly has put the right resources and people in our lives to help us get through all this and help Brendan succeed.


Brendan starts his classes with the school district after the New Year. We are excited to see how much these classes help him, and us. He will be taking a bus to and from school, which is what he is most excited about. He will start having homework (mostly practicing lines, circles, letters, etc.) and will begin getting his speech therapy, sign language and behavior modification help that is so important. For now, we wait until January and enjoy this wonderful time of year. Brendan will be turning 4 next week and is soooooooo very excited about his birthday party. He tells us daily that his birthday is coming up!


Please continue praying for us as we move forward. Any information and resources that anyone has is always welcomed. We are learning as we go, and this is all unknown territory.

Autism

Over the last couple of months, Brendan and I have been making trips to our school district to do assessments with student services. For a while we have had concerns about a few things, ie: eye contact, behavior, speech, social development. He has been struggling at pre-school as well with some of these concerns.

 After 6 assessments with a child psychologist, speech pathologist and an autism specialist, we had our IEP meeting today and it was decided that he has characteristics of Autism. I was told about a month or so ago that this is what they were feeling, but had to wait until the IEP was done to have a final report. I cried when I was told, but I feel it was more because I was relieved that we could move forward and help Brendan. 

There were lots of struggles that came during the assessments, such as, his behavior intensified and he became much more temperamental as he was being forced to do things he didn't want to do. He also became physical with me when I would have to restrain him. He starting hitting me in the face and wouldn't stop until he was able to knock my glasses of my face. This was very difficult for me to deal with and I would often break down because of it. It was a struggle for me to actually have my child hitting me. Through this I have realized that he doesn't know any better and this is how he is communicating. It is still a struggle for me though. 

Today was hard for Deron and I because we know what the struggles are, but to see it in writing and to see that these specialists are identifying the exact same things we are, made it that much more real. I think that we both came away from the meeting today feelig better and knowing that there is a lot of people that want to help him. 

Now, we are working on getting him into the services that the school district provides. There are lots of resources available for him at the school district, but the services they offer are at times that are difficult for us because of our work schedules. Lots of praying is going on over here to find what works best for him and our busy lives. God has truly pointed us in the right direction to help our little guy succeed in this life. Thank you to everyone that has been praying for us. Please continue to pray as we move into this next chapter and get Brendan that support that he needs! 

They're not my plans!

God is the only one who knows what will happen in our lives, He's the one that has planned them out after all. I have struggled this week with worrying about the unknown. I am an over planner, have always been. I don't like feeling like I do not have control of a situation, especially when it directly affects my family. This verse has popped up on Facebook, Instagram, books and the radio a lot lately and I know that it is God reminding me that he is in control. He is pretty persistent and his timing is always perfect. Just when I am feeling anxious, he sends me another reminder. We are sure learning a lot about waiting on God over the last few months and there will be lots more learning to be had going forward. 

We had our last assessment with the school district for Brendan on Thursday. While we still have not received all the information we need, we did hear a bit more. We have an IEP meeting with the school district in a few weeks where a lot of our questions will hopefully be answered. Please keep our family and our little guy in your prayers, we will need them! 

Big Brother

Liam is such a kind hearted, thoughtful little man. He has always had a very caring heart and wants to help with everything. Life for Liam hasn't been easy since Brendan was born. Liam went from being an only child, to having a brother that requires much more attention from Mom and Dad than usual. Liam has learned to wait while Mom or Dad take of Brendan and then we can move forward with what we are doing with Liam. With all the changes that are occurring and will be occurring in our family, Liam has really taken the big brother role seriously and is wanting to learn more about what we need to do to help Brendan. He has been asking lots of questions and watching how Mom and Dad handle certain situations and tries to help as much as he can. This little man is having to learn a whole new way of how to approach his brother, and it is going to take some time, but it is so refreshing to see how interested and willing he is to learn. God has blessed us with such an amazing little man that has such a loving heart and wants nothing more than to be able to help his family. We are so proud of who this little man is turning in to.

Starting Fresh!

Wow! It's been a long time since I have blogged! And, as you can see, this blog is very under construction. I decided to start a new blog since there are so many new changes in our life. We have recently been given a whirlwind of information that will change our lives and there have been many emotions running through our house (mostly from me, I'd hate to admit). While we are still sorting out all the information that is coming our way, life as we know it, is going to change. I was reminded today by my sister, Lisa, that God never gives us anything that we cannot handle. She reminded me of the song by Matthew West, Strong Enough. I listen to this song all the time on the radio, and until today, it didn't resonate as a song that I should really be paying attention to. This song should be my anthem. I have spent many days and nights crying and worrying over the past few weeks, and instead I should be realizing that God has made me strong enough to preserver through this challenge that he has given us, and we will prevail because God is on our side. I found a quote the other day that Toby Mac put up on his Instagram that said:

"Something will grow from all that you are going through, and it will be you."

I am truly hoping that we all grow from the changes that our family is going to go through and become a stronger family than we already are. As more information comes our way, we will share with you all. Please send prayers our way for guidance and direction in the decisions that we have to make in the next few weeks. Also, please pray for our little firecracker, Brendan. Things are going to be tough for him as well with all the changes that will be coming into our lives.