Routine, routine... oh how we’ve missed you!

We’ve been on a roll. Progressing with Brendan’s behavior, and growing as parents. We’ve been seeing so many changes. We even commented to our therapist the other day that our evenings seemed more boring, because we weren’t having to shower Brendan anymore, and he is actually doing more on his own! Huge leaps made in this area! 

We were so excited about our success, that we forgot to really plan for this thanksgiving break. A week of no school, no routine, coming and going, and being thrown into overstimulating environments 😳. We saw it start on Monday. The agitation started. Brendan started becoming non-compliant, and would yell at everyone for everything. The hurtful words started coming out, as well as the inappropriate jesters. 

We felt a sense of shame. We worked so hard and have come so far with our growth, and here we are, relapsing. A lot of this could have been avoided if we planned better. If we would have just prepped some worksheets for him to do, and set aside reading time. Maybe then, the behaviors wouldn’t have been so difficult. I had a weird work schedule this holiday week, and he didn’t know when to expect me at home. Maybe we could have done a better job prepping him for what to expect, and setting clearer expectations for what we were going to be doing...

Should, coulda, woulda...

We are in a constant state of learning. Learning what works, and what doesn’t work. Learning that we need to do better to keep routine, and prep Brendan for what’s to come. You know what is working though? This ⬇️

We’ve started a new task with Brendan, which is brushing his own teeth! (This is something he absolutely hates doing) We started with just two days. If he could brush his teeth himself for two days, he got to go to the dollar tree for a prize. Well, he did it, and we took a trip there on Wednesday! Then he asked if he could work for a trip to Target instead. So we set up another chart on the mirror for 4 days of brushing his own teeth. He knocked that chart out of the water too, and we went to Target today for his prize. Now, he is working for a trip to Walmart, for a bigger prize. This time, he has to do this task for 6 days though. We are adding a few days at a time to each chart, and will eventually start weaning off the chart, and he’ll be doing it without any reward or prompting! 

While we have these periods of self doubt and shoulding on ourselves, we really need to take a step back and acknowledge all the growth that we have made. My 97 year-old grandma has been telling us a lot lately about how much change she has seen in Brendan and how good of parents we are. In the periods of relapse, or change, this is something we really need to keep at the forefront of our thinking. 

We are looking forward to this time of the year. We have lots of activities that take up every weekend. Brendan will be celebrating his 9th birthday in a few weeks, and then Christmas! This is his favorite time of the year, but it is also our most challenging in regards to behavior. We will be working hard the next few weeks with developing a routine for Christmas break, and working on our priming skills so he knows what to expect! We hope you all enjoy this holiday season!