Things that help

After my post on Monday, I was left feeling negative about the situation that occurred. I know the opinions of others shouldn't matter to me, and for the most part, they really don't. All of this is new for me, and I know that through God and my family and friends, we will figure it all out. I appreciate all the prayers that are being said for us. It is comforting to know that there are so many people that genuinely care about our family. 

I've received so many reminders over the last few days that I am a strong mom, and that God made me Brendan's mom for reason. I've read stories of other families experiences with "meltdowns" and it's has all been refreshing. My friend Ashley sent this to me on Monday: 

She sent it just at the right moment. Just the reminder I needed to get through the day. My friend Rosa also sent me a card that just helped to remind me that I am capable of handling all this. 

With that said, I wanted to focus on some of the things we are doing that help to make life a little easier for all of us! 

We use this visual calendar for Brendan so he knows where he is going each day of the week

He loves this thing. He checks it every day and it's been much easier to get him to his different drop offs because he knows where he is already going. He even will change the weather if he walks outside and sees that it is different than what's on his schedule. 

We also use a first-then model for completing homework.

Brendan hates doing homework. Once we made all the choices that he likes, this tool started working great. We struggle a little, but not near as much as before we used this tool. 

We've also started using doterra oils. We have oil that we put directly on him and have also started using a diffuser in the house. 

Since starting these, we've noticed that Brendan just seems to relax a little more. There is a little more focus in him as well. He will even put the oil on himself once in a while.

We also have a vitamin that we have been using since before we found out Brendan is autistic.

We give this to him everyday. It has done wonders for us. When Brendan does not take this vitamin, he is more irritable, high strung and difficult to manage. It really does just take him down a notch. Plus, he is not the best with fruits and veggies. This vitamin really gets him a lot of the nutrients that he needs. 

The last thing that has been very helpful has been Brendan's teacher. We couldn't ask for a better teacher for Brendan. She cares so much about his development. She constantly lets me know how things are going and makes sure to let me know when he is doing great! 

These are things that we definitely need. So often you hear the negative, but the positive is what keeps us going. 

I want to thank you all again for all the prayers and positive encouragement. I really do appreciate it all. We have a long journey ahead of us. There are going to be some bad days. The only way we are going to get through it, is with God. 

Our first public meltdown

Today Brendan had his first meltdown in public. There have been other times where he has been difficult, but this was much different. It was all over a ninja turtle. He screamed, said hurtful things to me, threw himself on the floor, smacked me and carried on the whole way through the store. (If you were at Target around 12:15 today, I apologize) The looks I got were so uncomfortable. You'd think by now, people would understand that's it's not me parenting incorrectly, or Brendan behaving badly. But the looks I got were not looks of sympathy. They we're looks of people that wanted me to control my child. If it were only that easy. It finally stopped when we got to the checkout. I wanted nothing more than to drop whatever I had and just leave. I think it pushed me into an immediate panic attack. And when everything was over, I was just so emotionally drained. I know this will not be the last one, but wow! I just really wish the judgement from others wasn't there. That is the hardest thing to deal with. 

P.S. This is not the toy he was crying about. We had already bought this, and he wanted something else at another store. 

Mommy Meltdown

I do believe that I am on the verge of a mommy meltdown...Life, kids, work, whatever... It's been hard lately. I took this past week off from work to be with the kids on one of their weeks of spring break. For 9 days straight, there was not one moment of the day that I did not have a kid with me. I know, I know. I am a mom. But, that doesn't mean I do not need some "me" time. Throw in the fact that Brendan's schedule was changed completely for two weeks and he and Liam were around each other way too much, and you've got yourself a mom that is at her breaking point.


Brendan's struggles have had a huge impact on me these past two weeks. He has been very hard to talk to, reason with, soothe, calm down, engage, etc. He has been very strong willed and has had an increase in his back talk. Getting him to do anything that he didn't want to was pretty much next to impossible (Usually I can get him to do many things using the first-then model. Not these past weeks!). Today was exceptionally difficult for me. He had a very bad tantrum after I came home from an extremely hard day of work. I felt like I failed and I just didn't know what to do. Time outs don't work with him. Sending him to his room doesn't work. Trying to talk about it doesn't work. One day, I hope we will find what does work, cause this momma is TIRED.


Praying has been my "me" time lately. That's all I can really do right now, other then send text messages to Deron that say, "when you come home, I may not be here." I knew being a mom was going to be hard work and it is. Being a mom of a child with Autism and still not sure how to always handle a situation, is even harder. God is bigger than this situation, and he will get me through it. But for a few moments, I may sneak off to have a little meltdown, say a prayer, and jump back in.